What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is when someone makes you doubt your own memory, perception, or reality. They deny things they said, twist events, and make you question if you're overreacting or imagining things.
This is one of the most damaging patterns because it erodes your trust in yourself. Over time, you start questioning your own judgment and become dependent on their version of reality.
What It Looks Like
Here are common examples of gaslighting:
"I never said that. You're making things up again."
"You're too sensitive. That's not what happened at all."
"You always remember things wrong. Maybe you should write things down."
"That's not how it happened. You're confusing it with something else."
"You're imagining things. I never did that."
How to Spot It
Constant self-doubt: If you find yourself constantly questioning your memory or feeling confused about what actually happened, that's a red flag.
They deny clear evidence: Even when you have proof (like screenshots or witnesses), they insist you're wrong.
You feel crazy: Do you feel like you're losing your mind or that you can't trust your own perception?
Others notice: If friends or family point out that you seem confused or that things don't add up, listen to them.
What to Do About It
If you recognize gaslighting:
- Trust your memory: Your perception is valid. Don't let someone convince you otherwise.
- Document when possible: Keep screenshots or notes to verify your memory when needed.
- Talk to trusted people: Get outside perspective from friends or family who can validate your experience.
- Set boundaries: You don't need to argue about what happened. If someone consistently makes you doubt reality, that's a serious problem.
- Consider distance: Gaslighting is emotional abuse. You may need to step away from this person.
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